Upset

Few tips of how to control your anger…

Getting upset is very natural. Anger is undoubtedly a self-defeating and self-destructive emotion. Anger is an emotion that can be very hard to control and difficult to acknowledge. The difficult task is learning how to manage the anger in a constructive manner. Anger energizes us to prepare us for action. It helped in past but in present, it has become a threat for our lives.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.
Responding aggressively is a common way of expressing anger. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward on yourself. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile.
If you are angry you may feel bitter and resentful, withdraw, sulk, get irritated or upset, become impatient, fret, fume, yell, raise your voice, make sarcastic comments, spew invectives, show your fist (or your finger), sometimes show all this very suggestively, get physical, put other people down and even end up on the wrong side of the law.

To overcome anger:
- Do something about the problem before they get out of hand.
- Assert yourself in a level headed manner.
- Ask others for their point of view.
- Negotiate a solution.
- Analyse your own irrational beliefs.

The way to resolve anger is through an open two way communication. There are certain rules of confrontation that needs to be followed:
- Do not loose focus from the matter of discussion.
- Identify the real issue.
- Some times you are so much driven by your anger that you do not stop even if the other person has given you what you wanted. You should know when to stop.
- Acknowledge the anger.
- Take the responsibility that you are creating it.
- Use the time out technique or other distractions to help calm down.
- Acknowledge any personal state that triggers the aggressiveness.
- Talk in an assertive manner about whatever you are unhappy about.

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